By the time I was twenty-two, I was a bitter and disillusioned young man. I was angry at the hypocrisy and hatred I had found in the church and two different Christian colleges. I thought of the church as a place where legalists, thieves, liars, fornicators, mind-controllers, and self-serving hypocrites abounded. I was more impressed with the artists I knew and the philosophers I read. I felt that people in Eastern religions were more in tune with the truth.

The days of looking to Jesus were gone; now I looked only at people. The beautiful conversion I had had in my early teens seemed more like an inferior religious experience that I had to move on from. I felt I had to tap an unrealized element of greatness that, as a conventional Christian, I could never attain to. I felt my artistic passions had more depth, substance, and potential than the dreary "church world" around me. So I said, "I am no longer a Christian, but a seeker of truth."

Almost immediately, my emancipation from Christianity seemed to bring new oportunites; including a possible record deal with M.C.A.. Everything seemed to be on the upswing and I was free to indulge in all the things my old Christian values had forbidden. However, just as quickly everything seemed to fall apart and within months, I found myself broken-hearted, disappointed, and broke without any big recording contract. Instead of turning to the Lord, I turned to friends who told me I had simply created my own reality and had the power to create a better situation. (next page)